i never really thought i’d type “anthony bourdain” and “death” next to each other. and yet, i just did. the whole world is adjusting to doing it as well.
anthony bourdain will always be the epitome of free spirit. storyteller extraordinaire. he went to places where others warned us not to dare visit. he delved into food without any pretenses, savoring local flavors and elevated appreciation for both home cooked meals and street foods. he was a massive influencer without labelling himself as one–he simply called himself an “enthusiast”, being passionate about eating, visiting places, and learning about people and culture.
but perhaps that was only the anthony bourdain that we know on the surface.
i am not sure if this hyper energy that i’m feeling since monday is the effect of full moon in sagittarius, but i’m trying my best to keep up with it!
my mind has been racing like crazy. my mental to-do list keeps growing that i have been failing to jot them down. my ideas for crafting and journaling are also piling up, i don’t even know WHY. there are days when i just feel uninspired, and it has just turned upside down since… since taurus season ended and gemini season started.
lmao look at me blaming it all on the stars/astrology as if i know a thing or two about it.XD
anyway, let me just share few life updates:
- these are some of the pocket notebooks that i purchased/were gifts to me through the years. i find them most helpful when i’m in transit and have the need to declutter my mind.
my mind and emotions have been making weird shifts, from being super positive and motivated to get shit done to being lethargic and melancholic, having “woe is me” feels. this shifting happens in a matter of hours. how i manage not to break down is still a mystery.
at times, i feel like i might just need more sleep or even new things to do. i write on and design my personal journal before bed every other day just to take my mind off everything. i say every other day (for now) because my energy is drained as soon as i get home.
i try my best to keep this to myself, but i couldn’t help it. sometimes, i’m being asked a simple question and then i’d respond, but i’d also snap for no appropriate reason. either that or i’d not respond at all because my mind is elsewhere. i’m disoriented. i may be physically present, but i have a lot going on in my head.
i guess it’s my endless examining of self worth. thinking what i *really* should be doing. for fulfillment. for gratification. for self validation.
i don’t know.
i did something terrible, but i knew it was for the greater good. it was something that had bothered me over the past few weeks. i knew that if i didn’t do it, i would still think about it and it would certainly drive me more mad.
and so, i tore the pages of my alice in wonderland journal. but i kept the photos and some of the ephemera in it. i stored the photos in the free fuji instax photo album for easier flipping.
i have given up designing my planner, and now, my supposed 2018 journal. i am left with this personal diary, which i’m more than in love with right now. i guess a part of me also wants to start another journal. tabula rasa. but i’ll take some time to think about what i want to put in it.
10 march. after looking around/shopping for affordable and quality finds at the 999 shopping mall, my work friends and i went to the other tutuban center. banapple was the first food place that we found and we didn’t think twice about taking a rest and having our afternoon snack there! i ordered the apple caramel crumble pie, which thankfully wasn’t too sweet! the caramel sauce filled the cake moderately and complemented the apple slices very well. it felt like heaven. although you have to consume it slowly so as not to feel saturated right away.
11 march, part 1. bad bird at robinson’s ermita was on soft opening. i read before that this restaurant serves one of the tastiest fried chickens in the city, so i thought of trying it. my mother, my brother and i agreed to try eating here for the first time. despite the slow service (to my consolation, the waiters were only four and the customers were growing in number. how many tables do they have to serve?!), i appreciated their fried chicken on their corn and coleslaw plate. the corn cobs were served with butter and bonito flakes, while the salad had kewpie sauce and kimchi flavor. for the fried chicken’s level of spiciness, i asked for safe, and i liked it. the skin was crispy and garlicky, and the meat was well cooked and juicy. ah maybe if i get to visit again, i’ll order two pieces of fried chicken!
11 march, part 2. my brother was craving for ramen because of the windy weather, so he got to convince us that we should have ramen for afternoon/early dinner. it was my first time to visit ippudo ramen, and it wasn’t bad, i guess. the shiromaru motoaji ramen has pork broth served with thin noodles and pork loin slices, plus bean sprouts, spring onions and kikurage mushroom. the restaurant service may be excellent, but for the food, um, i had enjoyed other ramen meals than this, to be honest. although i must say the pork loin was quite delicious.
one year ago–25 february, 2017, to be exact–i went to see my favorite band live. it was one of the unsurprisingly magical nights that i got to experience, and i don’t think i’d get over it.
guns n’ roses only had limited stops in south east asia cities. unfortunately, manila was not part of their tour, so i had to choose between bangkok and singapore. i haven’t been to bangkok before, and it seemed like a good chance for me to tour the city. but then, singapore always has a second home feel for me, besides, a friend also wanted to see gn’r live, so i opted for the latter.
their world tour was called “not in this lifetime” because after the members parted ways in the mid-90’s, some of them had bad blood. due to pride and conflicting interests, they were reluctant to reunite and go on tour after so many attempts and persuasions by different parties. eventually, just few years ago, reconciliation among the old members happened and… well, the reunion gig happened. except for rhythm guitarist izzy stradlin, who happens to be my favorite band member, the original three–bassist duff mckagan, lead guitarist slash, and lead singer axl rose–and in some occasions, drummer steven adler– went touring the world again, making every gn’r fan’s dream reunion come true.
as soon as the band played the first few notes of it’s so easy, i squealed and screamed and of course i sang along! their lineup consisted of a mishmash of appetite for destruction, GN’R lies, use your illusion albums, and even few tracks from the last album chinese democracy. i wish they didn’t perform coma, a 9-minute track that is my second least fave with long interludes. i swear the audience just went on a coma while they performed it.
on the other hand, i gladly sang along with the other songs they did. they even performed a rendition of the who’s the seeker! i was nearly in tears since the who also happens to be another fave of mine. duff mckagan, known for being the band’s punk rocker, also sang his famous versions of johnny thunders’ you can’t put your arms around a memory + the damned’s new rose.
i guess my fave part of the night–heck, i enjoyed singing most of the songs with them!–but still, i think it would probably be november rain and rocket queen. november rain will be one of their staples since it’s sincere and heavy at the same time. as for rocket queen, well duff’s bass lines were a killer in this song and to hear it live gave me chills! it was surreal and awesome!😢😢😢
it also happened to be my second time to see slash live! he played all the songs flawlessly, even the tracks from chinese democracy! couldn’t be any happier to see him next to axl rose once again.
and as for axl, i couldn’t really believe that i got to see him right there and then. although his vocals got a bit rusty with this i love, he still swayed/danced with enthusiasm just like the old times, and to have witnessed him play the piano for both this i love and november rain, ah it was sublime. he didn’t make a single mistake–all of them didn’t, really. it was amazing.
although i was hesitant to get tickets due to budget constraints and another vacation plan in the same month, i am still grateful to myself two years ago for making it happen. i guess i just went by the YOLO principle, otherwise i’d regret it for the rest of my life.